Recommendations - APRIL 2004

PORTRAIT ROBOT - BILL BYERS

Who the hell is Bill Byers. What the hell is this film. And what's all this early sixties french jazz music. Great cover though. I mean you wouldn't leave it would you.

THE GREAT STALACPIPE ORGAN

Believe it or not this is / was an organ made in a cave. The sound is made of solid rock. The organ is in a big cave in Virginia. The stalactites were carefully tuned and are played through a keyboard by that bird in the red dress. A very exciting record until you play it, and then it's shit. I quite like it though. Bought in Swanage. Should have left it there really.

OJOJOJ

Lasse Farnlof: You may remember Mr Fernlof / Farnlof, he did "The Chameleon" and he is a very talented disabled jazzman from Sweden. He suffered form polio. This is a very early jazz soundtrack thing he made. Swedish only release. Bonkers. Like jazz mixed with loonies in a church or something like that, but I really dig it. There's a good waltz and I am a sucker for a good one of those. I got this from a bloke who didn't want to sell it, which I found a little sad.

COMME UN POT DE FRAISES - JO MOUTET

Not a clue who this is, or what this film is about, but I'd sure like to watch the naked bits. And those references to pots and strawberries makes one think there are loads of rude things happening. A very groovy bit of film music making here, unmistakably French. I only bought it because Rare Disks were having a half price sale. I only realised they were having a half price sale when I walked out, which means somewhere along the way the twins that run the shop will need a little marketing guidance. As well as some quirky tres bien chansons, this LP includes two funky things that a few people I know would be very keen on. Please notice the clever use of a naked lady on the front which initially sparked my interest in this recording. That must be the oldest trick in the book.

CONSTANZO PLUS TUBBS - EQUATION IN RHYTHM

This is what is known as a trophy record. There are only two British jazz LPs that are afro based - Ginger Johnsons African Party and this green baby. I bought this in mid March at Spitalfields record fayre. The bloke who had it for sale relies on the book, and this LP is missing from its pages and was therefore priced foolishly. This is an elusive little beast, and is awesome in many respects. This is hard percussive jazz from the early sixties, with Mr Hayes kind of tooting along with his flute. There's a killer dance track on this too, but for me it's the odd Lament For Cello, which is exactly what it says it is but with bongos. Wild cut out sticky paper cover and even wilder music inside. Am I a lucky boy or what. But I was there at half seven on a cold Wednesday morning.

THE CHILDREN OF FRANCE

You must see this about. It is a cheapee. It is beautiful and a bit spooky too, with all these little girls singing the sad french hits of the day - like Windmills of your Mind. Blimey is it good. I love it, it has a superb cover and it's all produced by Jonny Keating.

Derek writes: Above Left, a youthful Mike Myers toys with ideas for a spy spoof.

MUSIC FOR ADVERTISING BY THE SHAKESPEARS

Aaaah. Jonny Shakespear and his bespectacled wife wrote many a jingle and advertising song in the sixties. They were busy and almost groovy. They made this private little LP of all their jingles, just for me. Well not really, but I imagine most of these ended up in a bin. This is a brilliant and quite ridiculous LP, great voiceover introducing the adverts, there's one for the new Ford Cortina, one for girdles, others for chocolate but the best one for me is the Eden Vale Yoghourt in Lemon flavour. Good cover too.

FAMOUS WHEN DEAD 3

Alert the media, this is a new record. Well one about two years old, but I really have enjoyed this techno compilation of all the music I missed while I was buying shit old records by Ken Dodd. I believe most of this hails from Germany, all the music goes up and down and side to side which is good for bopping around to, but it also has this awesome track by Julee Cruise and Khan on it which has blown me away with its simplicity and general all round incredibleness. I must have played this record about thirty times in a row, which is a good and bad sign.

SWEDISH FLY GIRLS

This is a fascinating enigma of a record. It has taken me about ten years to find one. Just one. It's mine now. It's the soundtrack to a continental sex film all about randy air stewardesses. Certificate X no less. Music by Manfred Mann it says on the cover. But it's much weirder than that. There's a track by Melanie who to be honest I never have dug that much. There are also three - yes three tracks by Sandy Denny on this very album. I mean shit the bed. Sandy Denny sings in a sex film!!! Headline news!!! Well not quite but I think it's great and definitely not what them Sandy Fans would expect. Fantastically odd soundtrack though - like folk, nearly funk and a lovely guitar thing all together. A great record and worth the pain and trouble of searching for so long to find it. Dynamite cover too.

STRICTLY TT - TERRY THOMAS

We all love Terry. I really love Terry. And this is a record that was always out of my reach financially when I used to see it, and now I have been able to find an unplayed one for a mere 25 quid including postage, which I think is a bargain. This album is mad, genuinely insane. He starts telling this story with no real end and also sings strange folk. Really insane, very original, this was Terry at the height of his comedy life. What an entertainer. And what I really like about this LP is his strange logo thing on the back and at the bottom of his album. What does I shall Not Be Cowed mean?

DAWN OF THE DEAD

Yep, still listening to it. It's great. And it changes nearly every time I listen, or at least I hear something different.Buy one, it's like a comedy nightmare with your eyes open.

THE INSIDE OUTSIDE BY ME

Yes, I am not afraid to listen to my own work. I am great.

UFO - BARRY GRAY

Cannot believe after all this time the LP now exists. Very groovy. Very Grey. No pictures. Buy one before they all go to Japan or America or all those people. I am now going off the the kitchen to make myself a funny thing with Chick peas and Chorizo.